Got a Spare? The Next Chapter

The Next Chapter:  Got a Spare?  On Friday, I should be donating a kidney (my left) to a wonderful person I don’t know and I couldn’t be happier about the prospect!

Well, if you are reading this you mostly know that my beautiful son, Scott, died 4 years, 3 months and 25 days ago AND that Scott was an organ, eye and tissue donor.  Our family has had quite a journey since that time both through our grief and in through the hope we have found in God and in Scott’s donation.  While Rich and I both always had a pink dot on our license we never gave much thought to what it would be like “if” we ever died and became a donor.  We certainly never thought about what it would be like if one of our kids did.  But, as God puts our path in front of us we are walking this journey and we are following the road in front of us.

Recently, it has taken another turn that most I NEVER would have expected but I am following the path as God has led me here.  Many months ago, I began the process of being evaluated to become a living kidney donor.  I put it forth that if it was meant to be, God would take care of everything.  Well, he did and if all continues to go forward this Friday, September 18, 2015 I will be giving my right kidney away to a stranger.  I couldn’t be more excited at the thought that 4 families will receive the gift of life next week (I am kicking off a four person chain) and their families will not have to suffer the loss of a loved one because an organ was not available.  Now, before you get all worked up about my safety, let me explain the process so far.

Evaluation:  If you would like to know how healthy or unhealthy you are just go through the kidney donation evaluation process.  My dad used to sing/read to me “Alice’s Restaurant” and as I was going through the weeks and days of evaluation I kept remembering this one section.  If you know my dad, imagine him telling you this in his best “Walt Johnson/Arlo Guthrie” voice.                                

“Proceeded down the hall, gettin' more injections, inspections, detections, neglections,  and all   kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me at the thing There, and I was there for two hours...three hours... four hours... I was there for a long time goin' through all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things,  and I was just havin' a tough time there, and they was inspectin', Injectin', every single part of me, and they was leavin' no part untouched!

While nothing in my evaluation was bad, it was through and I would not describe it as fun by any means but certainly educational.  The last thing a doctor will do is remove a kidney from a donor if it will cause injury to them later on down the road.  I have had blood tests, blood pressure tests, EKG’s, CT Scans, X-rays, Social Worker interviews, and Psych Evaluations.  Rich had to be evaluated to make sure he was in support.  Marissa has been included every step of the way. We feel we are ready to embark on this journey.

Once my evaluation was complete and the team of professionals decided I was healthy (body, mind and soul) to donate they put my information into a system to find a match.  In my case they found a match who had another person who was a willing donor but not a match for them.  That starts the chain-there were 3 others who had willing donors who they found another match!  Thus, through one person (me) donating, four people will receive the gift of life through this process.

Now, let me spend some time answering some of the questions I have gotten since I’ve started sharing my decision with those I love.

1.       Are you doing this to mourn Scott?  No, while Scott led me to a place to understand that 22 people DIE every day because there are not enough organs available for transplant (and I am grateful that he taught me this lesson) my donation is to practice what I preach.  I ask people every day, “If your son/daughter needed a kidney, wouldn’t you want someone to step up and give one?”  YES!  I would so I am stepping up.

2.       What if you need a kidney later on?  The beautiful part about our allocation system is that if I willingly step up to be a living kidney donor and later need a transplant, I will go to the top of the waiting list.  HOWEVER, the likelihood of that is minimal.  I have no family history of things leading to renal failure, I understand the small lifestyle adjustments I need to make (good by Advil and Aleve), and the evaluation process checked for factors to make sure I am not taking unnecessary risks.

3.       Do you want to meet your recipient?  When I started this process we had not met any of Scott’s recipients and now that we have I don’t feel any differently.  A gift given is a given without expectations or conditions.  If the person that receives my kidney would like to meet, I’d be happy to but if they would rather remain anonymous, that’s okay.  I totally understand and respect their choice.

4.       What if the person who receives your kidney dies?  While I am doing this to give them more time to live and love I understand that many things are out of our control and in God’s hands.  I have Faith that God has all things in control.  I would be sad for them but not angry or upset.

5.       Not every person who gets a transplant is compliant (follows orders for care), how would you feel if they don’t take good care of your kidney?  I hope they do, I hope this is another chapter in their life and it is a good one.  But, a gift given is a given without conditions. 

6.       Are you scared?  What if you die, it is surgery?  First, I am not scared.  Not excited for the actual surgery-that won’t be fun but I feel healthy and strong with a wonderful support system going.  IF I die (although the center my donation is taking place at has NEVER had a donor pass away) I am ready.  I know that I’ll be with Jesus if I die and that makes me less fearful.

7.       You know it is going to hurt, don’t you.  Well, this is where my sarcasm wants to do overtime!  Of course I know, I work with many transplant recipients, living donors and their families (Donate Life Ambassadors) many of them have been here to answer my questions.  At the transplant center I have a donor advocate, transplant coordinator and a whole team explaining every step to me. 

8.       Can you change your mind?  Yes, right up until the time I go “under” I can change my mind.  I can let my advocate know and the process will end.  No judgement, no pushing, and no manipulation it is that easy to change my mind.

9.       How long will you be out of work?  Well, the doctors say it “could” be four to six weeks.  I intend to be back in three weeks but I have done all the paperwork to take as much time as I need.  I’m lucky to have all the support I do!

S

See you all on the flip side!  Thank you for all the prayers and good thoughts!  They will carry me through this process!