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| Messages to Mom and Scott |
My life has been a series of unbelievable events, things
that I couldn’t understand or make them make sense. I have learned that “Through God, all things
are possible.”; I don’t have to understand it to know that everything (good and
bad) happens for a reason; and I don’t have to like everything that happens.
My mom died at 59 years old, too young in my opinion, but
maybe that was because I wasn’t done learning from her. However, I didn’t understand when she passed
that I would continue to learn from her. I see her in beautiful rainbows and
roses (never the yellow ones…she hated those) almost 11 years later and I see
lessons from my mom in “this and that”.
When my dad met Joyce, they moved
from dating to marriage quickly and quite frankly it was a shock to my
system. My head was reeling and no
matter how hard I didn’t want to like Joyce, I learned to love her. She shares many of my mom’s
characteristics-they are both kind, generous, loving, giving and someone you
could use to set your own moral compass.
I found that I love both of these women that my dad loves. When Scott lay in the hospital and we knew he
wouldn’t awake again on earth I yearned for my mom’s calming voice and touch
but yet I also couldn’t imagine Joyce not being there to help us through
it. When she cried for Scott it was
tears for a dear grandson… My mom and
God spoke to me that day (and it is the only time so far in my life I have
actually heard from God in this personal way).
My mom died so that I could learn to grieve so I knew I could survive the
death of my beloved, 6 foot tall baby boy.
Now, fast forward almost 4 years and God has performed yet
another miracle in our lives. Last
night, our family talked on the phone to the recipient of one of Scott’s kidney
and his pancreas. We also talked to his
wife and heard their two kiddo’s laughter and chatter in the background. It was music to my ears. We all started the conversation with careful
hesitancy, no one wanted to cause hurt or discomfort to the other. Then, God came through, loud and clear. We had a chance to describe Scott and I said “he
was the average, all American kid.
Incredibly bright but not the world’s best student, he was also sarcastic,
funny and could be a real pain in the a$$”.
We all laughed and B said he could relate that his clan would describe
him much the same way. WAIT!!!! He said “CLAN”. Marissa, Rich and I all smiled from ear to
ear and our eyes were wide-Scott had used the same word in an essay talking
about his friends. Who uses the word
clan…special people. Anyway, it was a
sign for us that we were meant to have this conversation with this family and
God really does have a plan we are woefully unable to comprehend.
I went to bed last night grinning from ear to ear. I often go
to sleep and pray that I will have a “Scott sighting” but I rarely do. Last night, I went to bed with a peace that I
didn’t need that sighting, I felt like I had spent a brief moment looking into
a world that Scott touched. A world that
Scott made happen by his gifts-and I was content. Blissfully content to know that this man and
his family are doing exactly what we hoped Scott’s recipients would do…Living
Life, Loving God and each other. I miss
Scott dearly, but today I am in an accepting place that I know God’s plan for
each of is the right plan and he is preparing my room.
More later about this amazing connection but we don't want to run them off!
